I have been in a meeting all week and got to spend sometime at my parents house without the kids. My father and I have weird relationship....lets just say we have a failure to communicate. The truth is I have wanted and needed this man to love and respect me...understand he has many reasons to think of me as a disappointment. The choices that I made in my 20's and 30's were not my finest moments. I have regret for the pain I caused my parents, but my journey brought me to Chris and my children. My father has not been in the best health and this is freaking me out. The fear of not gaining my fathers approval brings this angry little girl to the surface. My father always came to my rescue when my choices went our of control. He is a complex man with deep beliefs and convictions that have been out of my reach as his daughter. It has occurred to me that time is precious and I don't want to have more regret. I have asked Dad to meet me in LA on my return from China with the hope of creating memories that have happier endings. I know this post is DEPRESSING...for all your fathers, remember your daughters never stop needing you.
I think that is a great idea, will you spend time in LA or will he simply be accompanying you and Ian for the rest of the trip home? Those memories will be something you hold in your heart forever!!
ReplyDeleteLove unconditionally, apologize for the past, and move on to a wonderful future. Time with parents is so short. I lost my father suddenly, and there is so much I wish I would have and could say to him right now.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing you can do is love him. Do not waste anymore time. Just love him.
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