6 days ago
Friday, February 5, 2010
I have been in a meeting all week and got to spend sometime at my parents house without the kids. My father and I have weird relationship....lets just say we have a failure to communicate. The truth is I have wanted and needed this man to love and respect me...understand he has many reasons to think of me as a disappointment. The choices that I made in my 20's and 30's were not my finest moments. I have regret for the pain I caused my parents, but my journey brought me to Chris and my children. My father has not been in the best health and this is freaking me out. The fear of not gaining my fathers approval brings this angry little girl to the surface. My father always came to my rescue when my choices went our of control. He is a complex man with deep beliefs and convictions that have been out of my reach as his daughter. It has occurred to me that time is precious and I don't want to have more regret. I have asked Dad to meet me in LA on my return from China with the hope of creating memories that have happier endings. I know this post is DEPRESSING...for all your fathers, remember your daughters never stop needing you.