Sunday, June 27, 2010
1) Plane ride from Hell....what a little trooper. If he was afraid he never let that stop the adventure.
2) Instant Family! Baba and Sissy and Tommy were waiting at the airport. Ian was shy but jumped right into the mix.
3) BIG DOG.....we had a week of baby gates. The BIG dog and boy are now friends.
4) We really love our church family for many reasons, mostly for the wonderful welcome they have given our son. Ian and Tommy are in the same Sunday School class and went two nights VBS. I watch with great pride and joy my children running and playing on the last night VBS.
5) The teachers at Primrose are the best!!!!! Ian says "School Rocks" every morning when we get our of the car. We had planned to start him off slowly a few hours a day...day 2...running around playing like had been there for his whole life.
6)Little Man turned 6 on June 1st..NiNi and Papa gave him a bike and he never wants to get off the things. The smile on his face just melts my heart. Tommy and Ian have also worked out tricycle chauffeur schedule...check out the pictures.
7) The name game has been fun. ZhiKang now calls himself Ian...mixed emotions about this one. ZhiKang....what a cool name.
8)LOVE....week 2 Little Man got in my face. Ian pointed at me and said MaMa and then pointed at himself and said Ian. What came next??? I LOVE YOU
We have blessed with three easy adoptions. Not saying there wasn't any bumps!! the three are now sleeping in the same room. We hope to move McKenna back to her pad in the next week or two. Little Man hides all kind of things under his pillow..toys,pictures and books. We explained to McKenna and Tommy that Ian has never had his own things or a safe place to keep them. Under his bed is all kind of bags with paper and other secret treasures. All the kids now have special photo albums....Ian loves to show us pictures of his other family.
The boys had the Big doctor visit.....surgery for both this September. Tommy will only need tweaking and new ear tubes. Ian on the other hand, poor Little Man will be in the hospital for a few days. The To-Do list is long and will he HARD CORE. The good news....NO hearing loss!! The boys will be scheduled the same day...Dr. Burstein rocks and we trust him with boys' future.
McKenna starts first grade this year!!!!!! What a cool girl....smart and funny....YES...mini me in the attitude department. This girl changes her clothes four or more times a day. McKenne has a big crush on Mr. Ken her Sunday school teacher ( Ashley if you hadn't married him she was going to ask him) This year she started AWANA and we have to thank all the teachers....but Mr. Mike and Mrs. Meredith have shown Gods' love and mercy to my daughter. My kids fight for who will say the blessing...(Ian has learned to say grace from Primrose and already takes his turn) and we know that McKenna has been guided by M&M .....Thank You
Tommy....I love this Dude! I must admit we were concerned he would have problems with his new position as Brother to ZhiKang. We have to tell them to stop laughing every night and go to sleep.......they are buds for life. Tommy also has a crush on Ms. Cindy, his speech therapist...he likes blonds that give him candy. Both boys will have Ms. Cindy twice a week....Thank you Ms. Cindy
My cousin Rhonda was with for the first week in China. Words can't come close to the support and lave she gave Ian and myself. She shared precious moments with me and Ian....you have no idea what this women means to me!!!! I LOVE YOU RHONDA ...IAN LOVES YOUR!!!! REALLY
China...traveling without my husband .....the good and bad.
1) He missed seeing our sons face when Rhonda and I entered the room,
2) I remembered the women inside me that loves adventure....good
3) Chris and the Detail Man and I'm...well...stink at details
4) Tommy and McKenna....NO PROBLEMS...good
The best case is both parents travel together but when you have to make a call it's doable. My one travel tip.....buy everything you need for baby in China. Ian just turned five and wears 2T shorts and 4T tops....not one thing fit I brought with me. Laundry service cost me $125 a week...take clothes that dry fast and do it yourself. The construction in China is crazy....apparently due to the Asian Games......and Keens are now my favorite shoes.
A few people question if we are done adopting? Chris would need oxygen and lots of drugs and still would tell you now way in hell. My husband support me in many ways but another child would push him over the edge. I love the sound of laughing children and the crazy schedule......JUST SAYING HONEY!!!!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
I'm counting down the days until travel...Yeah! To keep from going crazy with waiting, my little man has emotionally been put into a box in my brain. Then today a picture of a little boy's hands opened the box. McKenna has very girly hands, she long fingers ....very fragile. Tommy has mitts...very strong and chubby. What kind of hands will Ian Have?? All at once it hit me in 17 days we can touch for the first time. Hubby and I were discussing this adoption feels like FOREVER. It has only been 11 months from start to finish but good grief.....PAINFUL.
The only cool thing about this wait......Rhonda is meeting me in China and traveling to his province. Rhonda is my cousin that is more like my sister. Her family has been living in Indonesia for the last few years. Just like a McLendon to have to go all the way to China to have dinner with family.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Yes, we are waiting again. For what you ask?? Travel Approval or TA and our Consultant Appointment or CA.....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! It's hard wrapping my brain around my son being home for his 5th birthday. I started a packing spread sheet.....yes, a spread sheet a few months back and it doesn't work any longer. The weather in April or May is going to be VERY HOT!!! I started with long sleeves and need tank top and linen now....why do we always travel in the summer??
Saturday, March 27, 2010
I read some very sad news last night from a blog friend. Ms. C had received a child's file with photo and was in the process of reviewing the information....then was called and informed the child could no longer be considered for adoption. This could mean one or two things.....the child had become very ill or had passed away. The thought of a child dying without ever knowing the love of family breaks my heart. We adopting parents fall in love with a photograph first and then the long journey begins to build a relationship. You could compare it to a sonogram without the physical connection. I don't understand why people find adoption love so strange.....do you love your husband or wife less than your siblings or extended family?? Why is so hard to expect love of photograph of a child you have never met as powerful and binding? The last nine months have physically hurt me at times and emotionally brought me to my knees. I pray every minute of every day for all my children....the same as any other Mother. Please, pray for the child in the photograph and the family that grieves her passing.
Monday, March 22, 2010
My Dad is in the hospital with a broken leg! He had a blower on his back, became dizzy and fell. I had Deja Vu of when I was sent to stay with my uncle in Hawaii for the summer at age eleven. The day of my return, my father fell off the roof during a storm cleaning the gutters. When we finally found him he was screaming at me to get help. I FROZE!! He never forgave me. That summer he unleashed his disappointment and destroyed whatever trust we had. I never felt safe again in my parents' house. Weird....how one day can change you forever. The drive to the hospital was spent mad at my husband. Why? He didn't answer his phone. It wasn't that he didn't pick up the phone, he left me to face the crazy alone. I stayed with my mother and helped in all the ways a daughter should.....but the rage. Dad wanted to be in control and he let me know it......his is no longer in control. He can no longer walk on his own or drive. Is the lack of control what makes him crazy? I stood in the emergency room and tried to make jokes and make this man happy. What? yes, happy...............
Monday, March 15, 2010
How many of you remember the movie "MASK" with Cher??? The scene where they are in the fun house and the son looks in the weird mirror and looks like a typical kid. I have the same mirror but it makes me look 30 not 47. It's hard for me to wrap my brain around being so close to 50...YIKES!!!! In my twenties the best word to describe me was SKINNY, now not so much. I have always been a blue jean girl so my style is not that different from my early years.......just the size!!! I look in that crazy mirror and see a more confident person that has changed her priorities but where has time gone? My mother's side of the family has longevity and one of my great aunts lived to 99 and looked fabulous. My Mom- Robby McLendon...AKA NiNi is radiant and still makes my father swoon. I just saying when your favorite music is played on the oldie station and you drive a mini van and wear glasses.....your youth has passed and middle age has happened. I want to give thanks to Ms. Clairol and Ms. Lancome for helping me not go quietly into old age.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
This is for all you dog lovers out there. Warning get a Kleenex!
This is one of the kindest things you may ever see..
It is not known who replied, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office of the US postal service.
Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey.. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.
I hope you will play with her.. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it.. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.
Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies..' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey &Meredith and this note:
Abbey arrived safely in heaven.
Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.
Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by..
Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.
I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much.
By the way, I'm easy to find, I am wherever there is love.
Monday, March 8, 2010
We had the privilege of meeting the most incredible you woman at Hand in Hand. Her name is Melissa and she is a Korean adoptee that has found her birth family. Listening to her journey to find her place in this world brought up all find of fears for my own daughter. I have said the before, my children saved my life not the other way around. I was shallow with no purpose or direction the God placed these beautiful children in my care and ROCKED my world. Melissa spoke about the racism she faced in her own family (both families)....not belonging to either cultures or being lost for self. Typing this is very difficult, no mother wants her child to feel such pain or loss...tears are flowing just knowing that my daughter could face the same journey. What can I do to make this less painful....NOTHING!! I want to stand in her stead and take this all from her and fill in the blanks with love. I can't. This is not my job...my job is to give her tools and support. I can remember my own mother telling me if she could only take the pain away she would. This strong young woman bared herself to us so that we will do better than those that adopted before us. I don't want my daughter or sons to feel they have to choose between China Parents or American Parents. I would like some day to have the privilege of knowing them. Melissa found that she was not abandoned but her birth mother relinquished her rights...in other words she gave her up for adoption. I now think we will not tell McKenna she will have NO hope but the odds are not in her favor. I didn't sleep at all thinking that maybe her story is not what we have been told but something very different. I learned last night that love is just not enough for my girl....so this is my promise to Keen-that wherever this leads God and I will walk each step with her.......God Bless You Melissa
Thursday, March 4, 2010
With travel to China getting so close I have started spending alone time with the kids. When we returned home with Tommy his sister was VERY mad at Mommy. Now she tells me how afraid that we would not return, it took months for the trust to return. We have girl time about once a week. Most of the time we just talk and snuggle and it seems to really help her communicate what is going on inside her heart and head. I have finally started the China Mommy conversations. I'm so thankful for both on my kids birth parents for making the difficult choices. Somewhere in China is a woman that must be a lot like me......nature or nurture...my daughter is just like me!! We had our big day Saturday and it started with getting our nails done. I now have matching HOT PINK toes and McKenna has blue with flowers. We went shopping and lunch and came home and snuggled and watched Cat in the Hat...Let's just say.....HATED IT!! Where has the time gone, she will turn 6 on July 4th and it seems just a few moments have passed. I love this girl, she rocks in every way....she loves to sing and dance and play outside with her brother. I have one prayer for my beautiful daughter, that she will overcome the hours of terror she experienced and become a strong confident women. When people say things like she was just a baby she can't remember...THEY ARE SO WRONG. My daughter is one of the strongest people I know....she is a pure joy but she has a dark place that only time can heal. I pray every day to be a loving and strong Mother.....my kids make it very easy.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
We have been so fortunate in our journey to parenthood; we have life long friends from each adoption. The Cook and Bickley families from 2005, the Sakryd and Arail families from 2007. We all have shared the moment we touched our children for the first time and trails that come with the first few days....resulting in an everlasting connection and friendship. We also have friends that we met the day of orientation at CCAI that are still waiting to bring home Lacey. In the world of adoption you meet many women that have unspoken strength and passion for orphaned children..but my friend Becky is one of the strongest in the group! I am so ashamed for complaining about our 1 year total wait for my sons when she has been waiting for more that three years. There has been times when she has shown fear and maybe disbelief that she will ever hold her daughter, but not often. We have spent many hours day dreaming together about the special moments in our futures. What will Lacey's personality be and will she be a girly girl or shy? You know all the things we waiting Mothers ponder. She supported me when everyone thought I was nuts for knowing Dang Zhi Kang was my son and would be part of the Davis Tribe. She is one loving mother to her Jacob (McKenna and Tommy's best buddy), she nevers backs down from the road blocks in front of her son......and it shows!! Her husband is on of Chris's best friends they can hang out for hours, they are a lot alike. We are on lucky family for having such supportive and fun friends.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
What a wonderful weekend we had with CNY and Valentines Sunday. We started the day off visiting our friend's church, wonderful message- Angie and I prayed for our children on the other side of the planet, We met the Dinn family a few months after they returned from China with Josh....Stinkin Cute!!!! About the same time we started the paper chased for Ian they Found Joy...from her pictures a perfect name!! We have been on this journey together and hope to travel the same time. I don't think Angie knows how much her friendship has made the wait easier. After church we all went down to China Town for the wonderful New Years Celebration . I loved watching McKenna make new friends holding hands and riding with Faith and Grace. I noticed one really cool thing our kids got to see Adopted Families and Chinese Families at the celebration. This may sound weird but or kiddos are with mixed cultures and families. We are looking for more events like CNY to give them exposure to their heritage.
Update on the Zhi Kang's adoption, we have received I800 approval and are WAITING again on the Travel Approval. The Chinese Trade Show starts the 2nd week of April and hotel and airfare costs increase, this could have me traveling the first week in May. I have emailed a few hotels to see if they have any available rooms in April....the answer is yes but they will not give prices. I am so ready to bring my little man home and get to know him.......10 THINGS...We want to know about Ian.
1- Is he shy?
2- Does he like to laugh?
3- Will he like Mexican food? This is a big one for Mommy!
4- Does he have a temper like Tommy?
5- Is he going to like having a Big Dog?
6- Will he let McKenna boss his around....we hope not!
7- Is he an outside kind of kid?
8- Will he like being hugged and kissed all the time? we will give this time?
9- Does he like to share?
10- Is he a heavy sleeper or light?
We are getting so excited that he will be home for his 5th birthday and all the other first big events.
Friday, February 5, 2010
I have been in a meeting all week and got to spend sometime at my parents house without the kids. My father and I have weird relationship....lets just say we have a failure to communicate. The truth is I have wanted and needed this man to love and respect me...understand he has many reasons to think of me as a disappointment. The choices that I made in my 20's and 30's were not my finest moments. I have regret for the pain I caused my parents, but my journey brought me to Chris and my children. My father has not been in the best health and this is freaking me out. The fear of not gaining my fathers approval brings this angry little girl to the surface. My father always came to my rescue when my choices went our of control. He is a complex man with deep beliefs and convictions that have been out of my reach as his daughter. It has occurred to me that time is precious and I don't want to have more regret. I have asked Dad to meet me in LA on my return from China with the hope of creating memories that have happier endings. I know this post is DEPRESSING...for all your fathers, remember your daughters never stop needing you.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
With all the paperwork we have done it just can't be good for the environment. My carbon foot print looks like Big Foot. I had a three hour conference call with our agency to discuss the next wave of paperwork. I started the call with a feeling of excitement and finished with knots in my stomach. With me traveling alone we have extra stuff that must be complete ASAP to have a prayer of leaving in April. China in the summer is the hottest place I have ever been...an I have been to Africa ....and live the DEEP South. I just want my son home and in his bed. Please keep him in your prayers.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Thomas McConnell has the best smile in the world with chubby cheeks and dimples. He is my snuggle bunny and has been Momma's boy from day one. The first few hours with Tommy were typical he was scared and mad all rolled in a pint sized package. I remember getting down on the floor with him and looking him straight in the eyes and whispering...you are my son and whatever you throw at me will never make me stop loving you! The grieving didn't stop but the trust between us started that night. Tommy got his giggle box turned on (my nick name growing up was giggle box) and laughed for an hour, Chris went in the other room to sleep on the floor. I can be in another room and hear that laugh and a smile comes across my face and my heart is lightened. Tommy and I had a special day Wednesday...Mommy & Tommy Date!!!! We discussed for days what we would do.. a picnic and the park. Macaroni, chicken and juice were on the menu and Wilshire Park was the place. All the years dreaming about being a mother never came close to the LOVE that I have for this child. My heart aches knowing he will face many hardships with his speech and not fitting into the mold the world had designed. My Children have been placed in my care....God has got my back??
Monday, January 25, 2010
I can’t stop praying for this sweet boy, who has been given the name “Adam” by the agency who has his file. He reminds me SO MUCH of my sweet girl! I do look at many agency-only listings of their waiting children, and I saw him here months ago. I can’t help but notice his beautiful, wide smile. He has a special donor who is hoping to help his family find him! Please go HERE to read more about “Adam”, scroll down and he is the next to last child listed. He is also the same age as our Li’l Miss. Please pray with me that his family can find him soon.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
I can't think clearly about anything but LOA...Letter of Acceptance. Two things you can count on when adopting...1- Lot of Paperwork 2- You are going to WAIT...WAIT..and WAIT some more. not sure what labor is like but this stage of adoption is painful and make you crazy. I keep telling myself this our third time and it should be easier but each adoption has been it's own unique journey. Ian's story is very different because of the first family that did not complete the process. The problem is the Ian has been looking out the windwon waiting for that family for over three years and now is told we are going to be that family. The PAIN is that he has been adandoned twice and what he must be thinking about adults and their actions. Chris and I know that love and lot of patience will be beeded to Ian the time to trust we will be his forever family. The other thing that is very different this time - Chirs will be staying home and I will travel alone. We have discussed this over and over...Shy Guys concerns...I can't see the board at the airport...remedy will be wear my glasses. Can't carry all the suit cases...my remedy....pack less. STINK at paperwork....I will have to work on that one. Traveling alone doesn't worry me much as a 4yr old throwing a fit in the middle of China or having a meltdown on a 13 + hour flight. The one thing that I can count on is GOD HAS GOT MY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
by Debbie Bodie
| I saw you meet your child today|
You kissed your baby joyfully
And as you walked away with her
I played pretend you'd chosen me.
I saw you meet your child today
| I recognize you from last year!|
I knew I'd seen your face before!
But you came for a second babe.
Does no-one want a child of four?
Can this be true? I'm almost six!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Shy guy here - although there hasn't been a shy bone in my body for decades, she remembers that from school. Aside from that, we have a daughter - McKenna, who is 5 now. We adopted her through the regular processes and is from Changsha in the Hunan Province. She was just over a year old on Gotcha Day in July of 2005. Once we found that we could keep a child alive and having them can actually be fun, we decided to return to China again. We were diving into the paperwork for the next one when we started to discuss special needs children. We had visited McKenna's orphanage while we were there and saw many children there that were older or special children that had been waiting much longer to get a forever family. Then we were filling out the medical checklist for this when we came across the "gender" question. We looked at each other and the three choices - Male, Female, or Either. We checked "either" knowing it would be a girl because they had so many more than boys, or so we thought. Once we sent in our checklist, we were told we were number 159 on the list so we thought it would be a while before we had a referral. Twelve days later Nicole got a phone call - "Congratulations Mommy, it's a boy!". Tommy came home in May of 2007 and has had surgeries to correct his cleft palate. He was 19 months when he got him - he is 4 now and doing great. Later we came to find out that boys outnumber the girls in special needs because the girls usually get adopted first. Currently we are in process to bring home a 4 year old boy, also with cleft palate, who will be named Ian. We hope to travel in March or April 2010 to bring our boy home.
We have started this blog to help our family and friends follow our journey to Ian and the other crazy adventures of our family.